Gerry Moran would give short-shrift to them, believing men should never wear them, that they only look good in shop windows …. as he takes a humorous look at the subject of MEN WEARING SHORTS


One unfortunate consequence of good weather, great weather, in this great little country of ours is the spectacle of men in shorts. And spectacle it is. There’s no other word for it.

Men wear trousers for one very good reason, they have appalling legs: hairy legs, bow legs, thin legs, stocky legs and built like cement blocks legs. Men have knobbly knees, bulging thighs, spindly shins and gnarled calves.

Men in shorts? A spectacle indeed! And what a variety of shorts. There are short shorts, long shorts, baggy shorts, sagging shorts, cotton shorts, acrylic shorts and shocking shorts as in luminous limes, bright blues and outrageous pinks.

There are fellows wearing shorts that looked fine in Ibiza when everyone was half tore and blinded by the sun (even while wearing Raybans) but which look ridiculous on the high street on a sober Saturday afternoon.

And as for these trendy ‘Bermuda’ shorts that come down to the knees, with bulky, bulging pockets to the north, south, east and west, they should, in my humble opinion, be worn only on safari.

Indeed every time I see a fellow parading down town in a pair of these I expect to see a pack of mules trotting after him or a zebra or maybe a monkey, or two, in the immediate vicinity.

Short manufacturers are making monkeys out of men.

Continue reading in this week’s Ireland’s Own