Early bird or night owl? Gerry Moran takes a light-hearted look at the old argument
Civilisation, I reckon, can be divided into two distinct species: owls and larks.
Larks are those members of the human race who are up at the crack of dawn and not alone have everything done by noon but they could gracefully retire (on full pension) by 3 p.m.
Owls, on the other hand, get up at 3 p.m., come alive around midnight and go to bed at the crack of dawn. Owls, you see, are never in a hurry. Even when there is a hurry.
Larks are always in a hurry. Larks understand fully that ‘time flies’. There are no flies on larks. Did you ever see a fly at 5.30 a.m. in a freezing bathroom as you shower and shave? Flies have more sense.
Larks have sense too. Common sense. Lots of it. Common sense says: “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” Larks, as it happens, are diabolically healthy. They lift weights, meditate and jog. What else can you do at 5.30 in the morning?
Owls, unfortunately, are not quite as healthy. There are two major reasons for this: 1) it is medically unsound to jog home from the pub and 2) porridge doesn’t taste right after umpteen pints of porter.
Larks, of course, are also wealthy. Not necessarily from any extraordinary business acumen but mostly by being careful with their cash. Larks may well have their First Holy Communion money in the Post Office and more than likely have their Confirmation money stashed in the Credit Union.